Clouds above my mind

Clouds over me, shade what i think,
clouds inside me, erasing all that's good.
Clouds in my mind, can't think about it.
Clouds in my head, can barely think right.

In the same moment i try, so long, just like a bullet grazing my face,
with the power of a billion suns, light no longer trespasses my sorrow.
I want to hide my face away, but can't get it out of me,
my gloom takes me down, like a shot bird.

My rifle doesn't work,
i have no clue of my own survival,
i have no chance to keep alive,
i want no one to tell me again.

I still love you, and shall take your memory to the tomb,
and no longer remember what you used to be,
my friend, my brother.

I will ride alone the fields of blue,
the mountains of sadness, taking me to the place i went back.
And making me realise i have no trouble at all.

And i am alone, again, solo,
standalone warrior, lone hunter...

And i am lost again, and find myself over a place i used to visit,
a places we used to watch, a black field of shadows,
and a crow in the sky.

Is it worth it, now in my dead's pass,
see my life, our lives.
And wonder if it was worth, if i could have done more, changed,
different...

Now it's too late to apologise and to ask ourselves the mattering question,
if i dare, if i could have ever dared to do more than a stare.
And watch from a distance changes nothing,
makes nothing better, but sadder.

I shall never change my mind, i regret nothing,
i regret everything.

The tears are filling up my eyes, and down a past, up a present
i watch you leave me all alone again,
i can't stop you, and just stare and stare, again and again...
I can't see you clearly, i can't hear you clearly...

Don't leave me now, because i still have something to tell you,
something that takes no boundaries between space and time.

I won't regret it, i won't faint again, won't fail,
won't be a coward anymore.

What elese can i lose now?